To Samuel Furly
1Furly
had completed his B.A. at Cambridge in January and was in
London, where he would be ordained Deacon in May.
Sundon
March 7,1758
Dear Sammy,
You have done well in writing to me the first week of this month. I should be glad if
you would continue that regularly. And you have done exceeding well in giving me the
full, particular account of that (shall I say unlucky?) accident. For really non satis mihi constiterat, cum aliquane animi mei molestia an potirer
libenter […] accepi.
2Cf. Cicero, Epistolae,
xiii.1.1–2 (Letters, 63.1–2): 'I was not quite sure whether to accept it with
distress or pleasure' (Loeb).
I am grieved. I am troubled for the
consequences that may ensue. But I am pleased. I rejoice that the Lord has carried on
such a work of conviction in that poor Pharisee. Yea, I cannot but be exceeding glad
me non laborem inanem cepisse.3Cf. Terence, Hecyra ('The Mother-in-Law'), Act 3, Scene 2 (l. 344),
'[That I not] labour in a useless task' (Loeb).
Neither am I sorry but rather well satisfied that you lent her that little
'awakening tract'. Upon the first hearing of this, indeed, my spirit was
troubled. Confusion of mind seized me, struck partly with fear, partly with sorrow, and
partly with astonishment. But what need we fear? Or wherefore are we cast down?
The Lord God Omnipotent reigneth
.
4See
Rev. 19:6
.
And cannot he make all things turn to his glory? How long shall the
boasting enemy triumph? Not longer (at least) than the breath is in his nostrils; and
then shall all his vain thoughts perish. But they have not yet won the day. Who knoweth
but the Lord may give peace and love and power and the spirit of a sound mind to her who
for a season is sorely vexed with the cruel overwhelming power of Satan? At a moment
when the ungodly think not of it, the Lord may arise and maintain his own cause and put
to silence the vauntings of the proud. So that all that are around may see it and fear,
and acknowledge, '
This is the Lord’s doing
'.5
Mark 12:11
.
What he does now we know not yet. It is our part to wait patiently to see what he will
do. Quietus esto.
6'Be at
rest.'
Be calm in the midst of this storm. I pity you, indeed, who are in
the very midst of it. For my own part I leave the matter without concern in his hands
who will not, cannot do wrong. But not without taking much shame unto myself. I did not
order my conversation aright all the time I was in the place. I was afraid of giving
offence, therefore I assumed too much the appearance of one of them. I did not dare to
be altogether singular, to be constantly, steadily serious before them. Now by this
circumstance the Lord has rebuked me and taught me wisdom. Here he has permitted no
small offence to arise from a quarter I could neither foresee nor prevent. Where now is
all my worldly prudence? What is become of my fearful caution? The Lord hath blasted it.
Not indeed with the breath of his mouth, but with the rushing torrent of his sudden
providence. Mark this, and settle it in thine heart that the Lord will be feared,
honoured, and obeyed even in the midst of lions; or will make us feel the weight of his
uplifted hand. I feel this moment my just punishment for my base cowardice. This sin
sets heavier upon my conscience at this time than almost all my crimes and all the
transgressions of my youth. And one sin lying upon the conscience is a load of
misery.7The preceding three paragraphs are a single paragraph
in the original.
There is not now time to give you any particular relation of myself, that affair having
spun out my letter too long. In study at present I make but a slow progress. I am not at
all content with myself in this point. I have just entered upon Lord Clarendon’s History,
8Edward Hyde, Earl of Clarendon,
The History of the Rebellion and Civil Wars in England, 6
vols. (2nd edn.; Oxford, 1705–6).
which is
such an account of the ways, vices, and passions of men as one who did not know the
corruption of human nature could scarce be induced to believe of his fellow
creatures.
I shall conclude this letter with affirming that I would to God such a deep work of
conviction was wrought in your heart and mine as God has begun in that poor distressed
woman. I wish we also felt the arrows of the Lord fastened in our conscience even as she
has done. O when shall we with that piercing sense repent of all our sins and all our
backslidings? Is not the time now come? We are spared today. God knoweth whether we
shall be tomorrow. But this we know, that whatever knowledge, whatever gifts we have,
purity of heart alone will be of true worth in the end. To the earnest pursuit of which
I commend your being,
Yours, etc.,
John Wesley