Sermon 49: The Cure of Evil-Speaking

11. ‘Speak evil of no man,’

22. And how extremely common is this sin among all orders and degrees of men! How do high and low, rich and poor, wise and foolish, learned and unlearned, run into it continually! Persons who differ from each other in all things else, nevertheless agree in this. How few are there that can testify before God, ‘I am clear in this matter I have always set a watch before my mouth, and kept the door of my lips!’

33. And the very commonness of this sin makes it difficult to be avoided. As we are encompassed with it on every side, so if we are not deeply sensible of the danger, and continually guarding against it, we are liable to be carried away by the torrent. In this instance almost the whole of mankind is, as it were, in a conspiracy against us. And their example steals upon us we know not how, so that we insensibly slide into the imitation of it. Besides, it is recommended from within as well as from without. There is scarce any wrong temper in the mind of man which may not be occasionally gratified by it, and consequently incline us to it. It gratifies our pride to relate those faults of others whereof we think ourselves not to be guilty. Anger, resentment, and all unkind tempers are indulged by speaking against those with whom we are displeased. And in many cases, by reciting the sins of their neighbours, men indulge their own ‘foolish and hurtful desires’.

44. Evil-speaking is the more difficult to be avoided because it frequently attacks us in disguise. We speak thus out of a noble, 02:254generous (’tis well if we do not say, ‘holy’) ‘indignation’ against these vile creatures! We commit sin from mere hatred of sin! We serve the devil out of pure zeal for God! It is merely in order to punish the wicked that we run into this wickedness. So do ‘the passions’ (as one speaks) ‘all justify themselves’,

55. But is there no way to avoid the snare? Unquestionably there is. Our blessed Lord has marked out a plain way for his followers in the words above recited. None who warily and steadily walks in this path will ever fall into evil-speaking. This rule is either an infallible preventive or a certain cure of it. In the preceding verses our Lord had said, ‘Woe to the world because of offences!’

1I. 1. First, ‘if thy brother shall sin against thee, go and tell him of his fault, between thee and him alone.’ The most literal way of 02:255following this first rule, where it is practicable, is the best. Therefore, if thou seest with thine own eyes a brother, a fellow-Christian, commit undeniable sin, or hearest it with thine own ears, so that it is impossible for thee to doubt the fact, then thy part is plain: take the very first opportunity of going to him; and if thou canst have access, ‘tell him of his fault between thee and him alone.’ Indeed great care is to be taken that this is done in a right spirit, and in a right manner. The success of a reproof greatly depends on the spirit wherein it is given.

Confirm then your love toward him, and you will thereby ‘heap coals of fire upon his head’.

22. But see that the manner also wherein you speak be according to the gospel of Christ. Avoid everything in look, gesture, word, and tone of voice that savours of pride or self-sufficiency. Studiously avoid everything magisterial or dogmatical; everything that looks like arrogance or assuming. Beware of the most distant approach to disdain, overbearing, or contempt. With equal care 02:256avoid all appearance of anger, and though you use great plainness of speech, yet let there be no reproach, no railing accusation, no token of any warmth but that of love. Above all, let there be no shadow of hate or ill will, no bitterness or sourness of expression; but use the air and language of sweetness, as well as gentleness, that all may appear to flow from love in the heart. And yet this sweetness need not hinder your speaking in the most serious and solemn manner, as far as may be in the very words of the oracles of God (for there are none like them), and as under the eye of him who is coming to judge the quick and [the] dead.

33. If you have not an opportunity of speaking to him in person, or cannot have access, you may do it by a messenger, by a common friend in whose prudence as well as uprightness you can throughly confide. Such a person, speaking in your name, and in the spirit and manner above described, may answer the same end, and in a good degree supply your lack of service. Only beware you do not feign want of opportunity in order to shun the cross; neither take it for granted that you cannot have access without ever making the trial. Whenever you can speak in your own person it is far better. But you should rather do it by another than not at all: this way is better than none.

44. But what if you can neither speak yourself, nor find such a messenger as you can confide in? If this is really the case, it then only remains to write. And there may be some circumstances which make this the most advisable way of speaking. One of these circumstances is when the person with whom we have to do is of so warm and impetuous a temper as does not easily bear reproof, especially from an equal or inferior. But it may be so introduced and softened in writing as to make it far more tolerable. Besides, many will read the very same words which they could not bear to hear. It does not give so violent a shock to their pride, nor so sensibly touch their honour. And suppose it makes little impression at first, they will perhaps give it a second reading, and upon farther consideration lay to heart what before they disregarded. If you add your name, this is nearly the same thing as going to him and speaking in person. And this should always be done, unless it be rendered improper by some very particular reason.

502:2575. It should be well observed, not only that this is a step which our Lord absolutely commands us to take, but that he commands us to take this step first, before we attempt any other. No alternative is allowed, no choice of anything else; this is the way; walk thou in it.

66. Do not think to excuse yourself for taking an entirely different step by saying, ‘Why, I did not speak to anyone till I was so burdened that I could not refrain.’ You was burdened! It was no wonder you should, unless your conscience was seared;

77. I know but of one exception to this rule. There may be a peculiar case wherein it is necessary to accuse the guilty, though absent, in order to preserve the innocent. For instance: you are acquainted with the design which a man has against the property or life of his neighbour. Now the case may be so circumstanced that there is no other way of hindering that design from taking effect but the making it known without delay to him against whom it is laid. In this case therefore this rule is set aside, as is that of the Apostle, ‘Speak evil of no man,’

1II. 1. But what ‘if he will not hear’? If he repay evil for good? If he be enraged rather than convinced? What if he hear to no purpose, and go on still in the evil of his way? We must expect this will frequently be the case; the mildest and tenderest reproof will have no effect, but the blessing we wished for another will return into our own bosom.

22. Love will dictate the manner wherein they should proceed, according to the nature of the case. Nor can any one particular manner be prescribed for all cases. But perhaps in general one might advise, before they enter upon the thing itself, let them mildly and affectionately declare that they have no anger or prejudice toward him, and that it is merely from a principle of goodwill that they now come, or at all concern themselves with his affairs. To make this the more apparent, they might then calmly attend to your repetition of your former conversation with him, and to what he said in his own defence, before they attempted to 02:259determine anything. After this they would be better able to judge in what manner to proceed, ‘that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word might be established’; that whatever you have said may have its full force by the additional weight of their authority.

33. In order to this, may they not, (1). Briefly repeat what you spoke, and what he answered? (2). Enlarge upon, open, and confirm the reasons which you had given? (3). Give weight to your reproof, showing how just, how kind, and how seasonable it was? And, lastly, enforce the advices and persuasions which you had annexed to it? And these may likewise hereafter, if need should require, bear witness of what was spoken.

44. With regard to this, as well as the preceding rule, we may observe that our Lord gives us no choice, leaves us no alternative, but expressly commands us to do this, and nothing else in the place of it He likewise directs us when to do this. Neither sooner, nor later: namely, after we have taken the first, and before we have taken the third step. It is then only that we are authorized to relate the evil another has done to those whom we desire to bear a part with us in this great instance of brotherly love. But let us have a care how we relate it to any other person till both these steps have been taken. If we neglect to take these, or if we take any others, what wonder if we are burdened still! For we are sinners against God and against our neighbour. And how fairly soever we may colour it, yet if we have any conscience our sin will find us out, and bring a burden upon our soul.

1III. 1. That we may be throughly instructed in this weighty affair our Lord has given us a still farther direction. ‘If he will not hear them’—then and not till then—‘tell it to the church.’ This is the third step. All the question is how this word, ‘the church’, is here to be understood. But the very nature of the thing will determine this beyond all reasonable doubt. You cannot tell it to the national church, the whole body of men termed ‘the Church of England’.

22. Here also let it be observed that this, and no other, is the third step which we are to take; and that we are to take it in its order, after the other two; not before the second, much less the first, unless in some very particular circumstance. Indeed in one case the second step may coincide with this: they may be, in a manner, one and the same. The elder or elders of the church may be so connected with the offending brother that they may set aside the necessity, and supply the place of the ‘one or two’ witnesses. So that it may suffice to tell it to them after you have told it to your brother, ‘between you and him alone’.

33. When you have done this you have delivered your own soul.

402:2614. But if this be the rule by which Christians walk, which is the land where the Christians live?

55. O that all you who bear the reproach of Christ,